Blood Pressure Med's, Nicotine and...Root Beer Candy

Doctor trying to put ole' girl on blood pressure medicine, but I really want to explore a different route first. I mean, everytime I see her, I am running from work pumped up on adrenaline and coffee....it is time I lay more bad habits down.  I  was given a mild prescription for that and a prescription to help quit smoking.
I am serious about making changes across the board. I never really smoked full time anyway, so the plan is to give it a go without any assistance first. My coworker mentioned that she quit smoking by sucking on A&W Root Beer barrels. Something about the strong taste that got her through it. I swear, I haave smoked more in the last two or three years than I ever had since I started. It is time. I feel ready.

And no, I will never put the coffee down. That addiction will just have to stay.

Starbucks

There are a million things going on through my head. I have a date with my bed tonight,  settlement statements and title commitments I will have to type tomorrow , and my kids and moving boxes and studying  for  my title producer test….car inspection,  need to check on the family in VA and get with kid’s father for a brain storming session at our favorite music studio.  

An important relationship ended a few weeks ago and it was pretty hard to deal with.  I stewed about for a week and finally just wrote a letter for closure. I don’t anticipate that we will speak again, but I know that I put my feelings out there. There is nothing I can do.  It is a damn shame.  I have an account on Facebook and I ran across a picture from fall of 2010. I had just met my lover and we were just friends. We were uncomplicated then. In that picture, I was sincerely happy.  It is a good memory, so I posted it.

Tonight, I had a great conversation with a friend over coffee at Starbucks. It was chilly, but we sat outside and talked about life and stared at the moon.  Life is so funny sometimes even after you put where you have been, where you are and where you want to go in perspective.  It seems like when things truly began to fall apart for me financially, romantically, emotionally and physically and I quit my bitching and crying; things finally start to fall together. It is bittersweet. Taking this time to be alone is imperative before I get involved in a relationship in the future.  It is like I have to add my needs to my priority list too and not use the people closest to me as an emotional punching bag instead of disclosing my fears rationally. It is like I briefly turned into a pansy for four years and I…the stronger, focused but carefree person has reemerged.

Thinking of my kids right now. They are the best children filled with love and awe. Since I have adjusted my attitude, they both seem calmer…serene. Cooperative.

Is Technology Negatively Impacting Dating?

With the advancements made in technology, I have a belief that these advancements are also impacting relationships and even the pretense in which a relationship will be based on. This is not in all cases. I am just going off of the experiences I have personally had and the experiences of the people I know. I grew up between 1992 and 1996 (ages 14 through 18)  in which caller I.D. became a fixture, having a pager was the epitome of cool and cell phones were rarely used or just used in cars. We had pay phones, a stack of change, and when you said to someone you would be there, you would be there. The use of cell phones definitely expanded by 1996 and pagers were stepping it up to a texting feature. At the beginning of my teenage years,we didn't text, email wasn't utilized yet and if the person you wanted to talk to wasn't home, the world didn't come to an end. You just had to catch up with that person when you saw them at school or when you were out and about. In essence, I believe with the internet and phones, we are now too accessible and this is having an effect on the dating process. I would really like to get some feedback on my last statement as to if anyone believes this is true. Obviously, I am leaning towards the fact that technology can sink a budding romance...and if so-does this mean the relationship was based on bullshit?

Away we go...

I was asked why I quit writing and I really couldn’t give a solid answer. Lack of time, lack of motivation, didn’t know where I wanted to go with it? I really don’t know. I am starting over without a specific purpose. I do ramble and plan to do it a lot. Writing is my favorite form of therapy actually. In the last 2 ½ years, I barely wrote at all. I tried to blog in 2011 and failed. I deleted every other blog before that. I stopped journaling, stopped reading, stopped writing. I did write one poem in 2011 though, and I didn't even keep a copy (I normally do).
One more time: I don’t know where I am going with this, but a piece of me feels like I have been or am going through a rebirth that has been 2 ½ years in the making. If you are a parent, I can relate. If you were married, I got you. If you aren’t married anymore, I got you too. If you have or had important relationships that shaped your life, maybe you can relate to stuff I talk about.  Just  best believe you are covered here. If you have stories about the best friends in the entire world, feel free to laugh and cry with me…do you have a family who holds you down when you need it? Dealing with spirituality and religion? Career in limbo? Whatever, I am down. I guess it is time for me to get it out and see where this journey takes me….and I am excited about it. Away we go...and if you have a blog, feel free to email me. I would love to follow.